My Rob, why have you forsaken me?t
You didn't warn me this afternoon. I didn't know I would be taken -- in my own limo -- to a distant land. I had no idea that I would be forced to consort with unwashed hairy heathens.
I thought to put the smelly old one in his place on first meeting him. He, however, had the audacity not only to urinate where I did, but to do so without even lifting his leg! He then proceeded to ignore me.
The younger male was worse. As I rightfully commenced marking the territory as mine, he followed me 'round, marking over me.
Then I met the females. Oh, my Rob, how could you have done this to me? After cursory sniffs they disdained to look at me. How can they not recognize me as a superior male?
Even the young show no respect. They raised their insignificant little hackles at me and used language no civilized puppy would know.
Please come rescue me. I don't know what I have done to displease you but promise never to do it again.
Sincerely yours,
Reginald, EP
